I keep reading and watching and listening in hopes of finding what it is that i need…
but i don’t even know what i’m looking for.
ephemeral
sometimes i think it’s great to be independant
able to change, unhindered
and sometimes i realize how ephemeral everything in my life is
and sometimes i wish i had something to hold on to, something grounding
do we create those things, like plants that grow and root themselves?
are they even real, or are they just constructs, dependent on our belief and faith
i’m just fond of you because you remind me of the freedoms of high school
i’m not sure if it will ever go beyond fondness
i’m pretty cold.
passion & trust
there are only two things i require in a relationship
i always look for you…
every so often, i stop and realize how the things i am doing are affecting my ‘normal’ social life. and sometimes i wish i could go on dates and have fun and behave arbitrarily.
and sometimes i wonder if this passion for what i’m doing is worth it.
in the back of my mind, i know that i would be sadder without it. sometimes, it’s hard so remember.
Details in the Fabric - Jason Mraz & James Morrison
Finally found someone, but I’m leaving in a month for the summer. He knows, I know, and so I pretend like nothing is happening.
I don’t even know if it’s mutual. I often forget how complicated affection can be.
Mostly, I don’t think I should be listening to love songs when I’m on my period.
